Guest Post by Fluffy the Cat: The Red Pants – Starlight Arboretum (The Way I Feel)

by | Jan 15, 2021 | Guest Posts, Song of the Day

Hi, it’s me again. Fluffy the Cat. Sometimes when the Food Guy is busy he lets me write his log post and put it on the Winternet. Today the Food Guy has a pre-existing condition to injure his back by digging a hole in the yard, so I will write his log post. I am going to write about ‘Starlight Arboretum (The Way I Feel)’ by The Red Pants.

The Food Guy always starts his log post with a quote by a smart person. He does that to make himself look more intelligent than he really is, which is not difficult to do. He often quotes someone named Kierkegaard who was in an old television show called Star Wars Track Trek. I think it was a reality show about celebrities who were stranded somewhere far far away and each week one of them would get eaten for dinner. The person who got eaten was always someone wearing a red shirt but I don’t know if it works with pants.

My quote for this log post is from a game show called Fiends Friends. The show is kinda like The View. A panel of contestants sit on a couch and compete for prizes by saying strange things. Whoever says the most nonsensical thing wins. On one show a doctor from Italy won a trip to space and this is what he said as he was leaving…

And so I’m gonna get on this spaceship, and I’m gonna go to Blogon-7 in search of alternative fuels. And when I return, two hundred years from now, you’ll be long gone, but I won’t have aged at all. So you tell your great great granddaughter to look me up. Because, Adrian baby, I’m gonna want to meet her. — Joseph Francis Tribbiani (The One With Joey’s Interview)

I asked the Food Guy what this meant and he said that all of the light waves that ever existed and ever will exist are bouncing around in space and that all moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist. The Food Guy said that somebody wrote that in a book called Slaughterhouse Five which is about a big noise that happened a long time ago.

‘Starlight Arboretum (The Way I Feel)’ is about a cat that is sitting in the front window watching the people walk by on the street. And the cat is happy because her food bowl is full of Purina Pro Plan Trout and Pasta Entrée. And the cat knows that her food bowl is always full, has always been full, and always will be full, even in winter and spring and summer and autumn. And maybe the cat’s bowl is full because of the light waves, or maybe it’s full because she will always have a good food person to take care of her. And the cat hopes that she never has to start over with a different food person.

The Food Guy often writes about sad songs with a cue stick acoustic guitars and still steel guitars that sound like the songs the Food Guy listened to when he was a kitten which was, like, five hundred years ago in cat time. But ‘Starlight Arboretum (The Way I Feel)’ sounds like it was recorded next year. I enjoy listening to it when I play Chase the Red Dot with the laser pointer. The singer has a lot of soul in her voice, which is something cats always listen for. ‘Starlight Arboretum (The Way I Feel)’ does not make me want to hide under the bed.

The Red Pants are Eric Schwartz (songwriting and production) and Hannah Rooth (vocals). They live in Irvine, California. The Food Guy showed me California on a map and it is only a few inches from our home here in Houston. So maybe I will trot over and visit them some afternoon and take a nap on their red pants. I am going to keep making that joke until somebody laughs. Okay I’m going to let the Food Guy finish this.

The Red Pants’ music is available on Bandcamp, YouTube, and Soundcloud. Be sure to visit Hannah Rooth’s website, and follow The Red Pants on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Charles Norman is a writer and historian. Email: Or follow on Instagram and Facebook.

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