Before my first trip to Denmark, I consulted a travel website that offered this bit of advice: the Danes do not queue well. I’m happy to report that I observed no instances of improper queueing in Denmark. But the experience of watching lines in Copenhagen inspired me to study line behavior in other parts of the world.

The French queue well, the main problem being that visitors never know what they are queueing for. You think you’re waiting for a table at the restaurant with the Class IV III license that will not open for another five hours, when in fact you are in line for a ticket on the RER.

Queueing in India is merely a hypothesis that the citizens are trying desperately to disprove. I blame their prior years of unwilling association with the English. The English have no need for lines as they never arrive anywhere until the last second, and then always on a flat-out run as if bravely daring the Gods to close the tube doors before they make a final frantic dive into the mosh pit of commuters on the other side.

Americans are trained to stand in line politely, but we do it grudgingly and without patience. Channel the thoughts of a person standing in a checkout line behind the elderly lady who waits until her purchases are tallied to open her bottomless purse and begin an endlessly fumbling mining expedition for the correct change before segueing into a lengthy exploration for her checkbook debit card – interrupted by Oh here’s a coupon for butter that I clipped out of Look magazine. Is it still good? – and you will hear Hurry up you #@$% old bag!!! How many #@$% pennies do you have in that #@$% pocketbook??? Is that a buffalo nickel you just pulled out??? How #%@$ old are you???

The best line-standers were the Soviet-era Russians, who turned queueing into an art form. There is no truth to the rumor that Bernie Sanders plans to create a Federal Department of Waiting, staffed by former Kremlin apparatchiks, to aid Americans who are not accustomed to a day-long wait for a loaf of stale bread or a pail of milk from the government agricultural commune.

‘Been Waiting’ by Long Lost Suns is sung by a person in a relationship beset by emotional queue-jumpers: the longer they stand in line, the longer the line in front of them becomes.

Lord I don’t know why
I waste my time
Trying to make you mine
Cause every time you hide
We go back a little further in life

At this rate they’ll be back on the street before the feature flickers across the screen.

The song is performed in a smoky surf club, not the imitation Margaritaville off the lobby of the nice hotel, but the one about half a mile beyond the end of the boardwalk, the one with too many bikers but where sometimes you can hear that old guitar player who almost had a regional hit back in the sixties.

Long Lost Suns, based in San Diego, are Matt ‘Teddy’ Jones (lead vocals, drums, percussion), Danny Falletta (guitar, keyboards, backup vocals), James Davidson (bass), and Tyler Ray Davidson (guitar). ‘Been Waiting’ appears on their new ten-song album Leyenda (Spanish for legend). Today’s track is the group’s second song of the day; we previously featured ‘Wander On,’ from their 2018 EP Anebria Demos. ‘Been Waiting’ also appeared on the EP, and the earlier version is worth a listen.

The music of Long Lost Suns is available on Bandcamp, Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube, and Soundcloud. And be sure to follow Long Lost Suns on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.